Workplace Wellness (Patreon)

Amendment to the Labor Health and Safety Act

In the year 20██, due to the strenuous work conditions that subject the workforce to physical exertion, there has been an increasing number of reports regarding decreased work efficiency and frequent quarrels among the workers, resulting from labor-related stress. To maintain a healthy and safe work environment, employers shall take the following measures:

Article 1. Appointment of Dedicated Cum dump

For workplaces employing ten or more workers at all times, the employer shall appoint dedicated cum dump to the workplace. These cum dump shall be responsible for appropriately alleviating the sexual impulse of the workers and endeavoring to prevent accidents and crimes resulting from excessive sexual impulse. Cum dump should preferably be selected from among the workers in the workplace. In cases where suitable candidates cannot be identified, the responsibility for the cum dump's role shall fall to the responsible personnel of the workplace.

Article 2. Management of Work Environment

For workplaces with high temperatures and high humidity or workplaces involving tasks causing substantial perspiration, a designated supply officer shall be appointed to ensure regular and convenient provision of water, salt, and protein supplementation. In such cases, seminal fluids are highly recommended as the most suitable liquid for fulfilling the stated requirements.

Article 3. Establishment of Rest Areas

Adequate rest periods and rest areas shall be secured to promote worker fatigue recovery and stress reduction. To encourage communication among the workers, engaging in sexual intercourse between workers during rest periods shall be encouraged, and a sufficient amount of lubricant shall be provided in the rest areas.

Voices from the Workplace

"Our dumbass...not... a worker with low labor aptitude in our company, I appointed him as cum dump. He is now working diligently and it's been a great help to us. (40s, Civil Engineering Construction)"

"I bust a nut every break, and it refreshes me. No need to waste money goin' to a brothel anymore. My wife's thrilled too! (20s, Steel Manufacturing)"

"The atmosphere in the workplace has significantly improved. Even the newbies I used to find cheeky now make an effort to give me a blowjob, and it motivates me to be more enthusiastic in my guidance. (30s, Electrical Construction)"

"You know, our boss is our cum dump, man! So fucking good! I used to be scared of the boss, but now I know his cunt is freakin' nice! I jizz inside him three or more times a day. (20s, Automobile Maintenance)"

'Cock! More cock, please give me! Whoa! It's so big! Fuck yeah! Awesome! Thanks to the Labor Health and Safety Act! (██s, ███ ████)"

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労働安全衛生法の改定

20██年、肉体を酷使する過酷な環境下での労働ストレスによって、作業効率の悪化や労働者間でのトラブルが頻繁に報告されるようになった。　健全で安全な職場環境を維持するために、事業主は以下の措置を講じるものとする。

第1条. 専属の性処理担当者の選任

常時10人以上の労働者を従事させる事業場にあっては、その事業場に専属の性処理担当者を選任すること。　性処理担当者は労働者の性欲を適切に解消し、過剰な性欲による事故や性犯罪防止に努めなければならない。　性処理担当者は基本的に事業場内の労働者から募るものとし、適切な担当者が選出できない場合は、事業場の責任者が性処理担当者を兼任するものとする。

第2条. 作業環境の管理

高温多湿の事業場や多量の発汗を伴う作業が発生する事業場にあっては、水分、塩分および蛋白質の補給を定期的かつ容易に行えることができるよう、専任の補給担当者を選任すること。　なお、上記の条件を満たす液体として精液が最も推奨される。

第3条. 休憩場所の整備

適切な休憩時間及び休憩場所を確保し、労働者の疲労回復とストレス緩和に努めること。　コミュニケーションを促進するために、労働者同士の性行為を推奨し、休憩場所には潤滑剤を十分な量確保すること。

現場の声

「うちんとこのウスノロ…じゃなかった、我が社で労働適性が低かった人員を性処理担当者に選任したところ、とても熱心に働いてくれて助かってますよ（40代：土木工事業）」

「休憩の度にガッツリ抜いてもらってスッキリするんで、風俗行かなくて済むんですよ。無駄遣いしなくなって嫁さんも喜んでます！（20代：鋼材製造業）」

「職場の雰囲気がすごく良くなりました。生意気に思ってた新人が頑張ってマラしゃぶってくれたりすると、僕も指導に熱が入りますね（30代：電気工事業）」

「うちは社長が性処理担当なんすけど、まじヤベーっすよ！社長おっかねーけどケツマンがヤバいくらい最高なんで！1日3回は世話んなってます！（20代：自動車整備業）」

「チンポ！もっとチンポください！んほっ！でっかいの入ってきたぁ！すっげすっげえ！労働安全衛生法最高ぉ！（██代：█████）」