Never Turn Down a Free Meal! (Patreon)

Since there were only three suggestions this time around I've decided to write at least two of them and keep each shorter to protect my sanity. So enjoy this first installment of some Mass Effect themed lesbianism!

In an effort to build a little more camaraderie between two of her most vehemently opposed crew members Command Shepard had ordered Miranda and Jack to go on shore leave together. Now that their suicide mission into the Collector Base was over the Normandy had returned to the Citadel for some much needed rest and relaxation. Which was how the two rather gifted biotic women had wound up seated in the back room of a hot new restaurant staffed entirely by scantily clad Asari. Having discovered the place during a previous visit Jack was all too eager to return and for once the prospect of dragging Miranda along actually wasn't as unpleasant as it should have been. Maybe it was the shared bonding of doing something nobody else had ever accomplished and maybe it was just her own temperament softening as time wore on but the sight of the former Cerberus operative didn't make her sneer nearly as much as it used to. Not even when Miranda met her outside the restaurant dressed in an elegant black gown with a slit cut pretty much all the way to her waist and a so little fabric covering her back one could almost see the upper portions of her tight ass. Her raven tresses were similarly done up to match her outfit which made Jack's appearance all the more comically mismatched. Because in direct contrast to her dinner companion she was dressed exactly as she always was. The same harness barely covering her small breasts and the same baggy brown pants hanging off her waist. Yet somehow neither the bald headed, heavily tattooed woman nor her fancifully dressed and made up partner warranted any strange looks as they entered. In fact nobody seemed to pay them much heed at all as they strolled into the back room and sat down in a moodily lit and rather spacious booth.

“Do we not need reservations?” Miranda asked.

“I called ahead.” Jack replied, motioning to an Asari woman wearing little more than a skin tight negligee colored deep red to contrast with her beautiful azure skin, “We'd like two of the house special.” 

“Of course miss.” The waitress replied.

As the Asari turned away Miranda quickly protested, “Well I'd like to see a menu before you order for me!”

“Trust me cheerleader, you're gonna enjoy the house special.”

“Ugh.” Miranda shook her head. It'd taken less than five minutes for her to get annoyed. Less than thirty seconds if she counted the frustration of being told it was a 'fancy joint' only to show up dressed about two thousand times better than Jack. “Why is another server coming over her?”

“Because I ordered the house special.”

“But they aren't carrying any food, what could they—Jack what is going on?!” Her already tense posture tightened considerably as the pair of Asari woman suddenly knelt down and disappeared beneath the table. She instinctively pressed her legs together and looked at her grinning ally, “What are they doing?!”

“Giving us the special.” Jack replied. 

Then as if it were the most normal thing in the world she lifted her feet onto the table, both of them pressed against the edge while she raised her ass off the seat and pushed her pants down. Miranda gasped and watched as a blue head quickly moved between her companion's naked thighs. What she was doing down there was impossible to mistake for anything else even if the wet sounds of a tongue running across a bare pussy hadn't soon filled the air. What she didn't know, but would soon find out, was that as a result of a unique genetic quirk all the Asari in the building possessed a rather mundane but fantastically enjoyable trait. One that made their fondness for cunnilingus and oral sex in general a rather delightful bit of serendipity. Jack was already enjoying the pleasures that little quirk provided as any and all thoughts about her companion faded into the background. She gave her dumbstruck crew mate a wink before pulling aside the straps covering her tits and pinching her tattooed nipples with both hands. If her stuck up ex Cerberus ally didn't want to have fun that was her business. This was about the only bonding experience the two could engage in that wouldn't result in violence and it was one Jack had been looking forward to all day. Her hips grinded against the skillful ministrations of her waitress as the pungent smell of sex and arousal hung like a cloud above them. Part of her could feel the wide, flabbergasted stare of the woman beside her and she grinned at the thought of that smug, punchable face twisting in further surprise when the truth was revealed to her.

Had she actually looked in Miranda's direction Jack would've seen that expression much sooner than she expected. Because in her shock and confusion the former Cerberus operative had let down her guard just enough for the second Asari to move forward. Firmly pushing aside her trembling knees and lifting up her sleek gown the waitress' breath was hot on Miranda's inner thighs as she moved towards the tight little thong she'd worn. Instantly regretting her choice in undergarments she tried to cover herself up in a last ditch effort to protect some bizarre idea of modesty, despite being no stranger to anonymous sex. And certainly no stranger to anonymous sex with Asari. But it had never occurred in such a public place. Even if they were the only ones present engaging in such behavior alongside Jack hardly seemed like what Shepard had in mind when she told them to play nice. Yet despite all those entirely justified reasons to refuse, to stand up and leave, Miranda found her legs spreading even further apart and her hands moving to hold the edge of the table. She whimpered as a soft finger pushed beneath her panties and brushed against her rather wet pussy. That little bolt of pleasure lanced through her body and thoroughly distracted her as the Asari pulled aside her thong and leaned forward. What happened after that was perhaps the single most surprising and wholly unexpected moment in Miranda's life.

At the same moment she inched forward a long, sinewy tongue was pushed into both her asshole and pussy at the same time, “Oh my God!” Miranda gasped. She immediately looked to Jack with an mingled look of incredulity and pleasure, “Oh my God . . .”

“Enjoy it cheerleader.” Jack replied without even glancing at her companion, “These girls know what they're doing!”

Not quite able to believe what was happening even as two separate tongues plunged into her and started stroking the sensitive inner walls of both holes Miranda slowly stared down at the bump underneath her dress. Her entire body was already tingling from the thrill of being stimulated in such a way and the wholly unpredictable thrill of getting both her ass and cunt worked simultaneously added a tremendous amount of enjoyment. Within a few seconds her breathing was labored and her perky breasts were heaving beneath her gown. She wanted to follow her companion's lead and pull aside the fabric but something held her hands back. Exposing herself in such a manner was a still a little too wild for her to handle. Getting serviced by a double tongued woman definitely pushed her threshold quite a bit and it certainly filled her mind with deviant thoughts. But to a casual observer she merely looked like a blushing, nervous woman. Obviously anyone with any sense at all could tell what was really happening as a pair of firm blue asses peeked out from beneath the table and Jack made a show of how good she was feeling. In Miranda's head she was comporting herself rather well. Only the most studious patrons would notice what was happening and even then she could probably play it off. Or at least that's what she told herself as juices trickled out of her pussy and a thin layer of sweat formed across her brow.

What really caught her by surprise as both holes were lathered in spit and a soft pair of lips pressed against her flesh with increasing pressure was how good it felt to have a tongue buried inside her asshole. As familiar with anal sex as she was Miranda had somehow never indulged in analingus before that moment. Much more use to the feel of a fat alien dick pounding away at her she was quite amazed at how good something smaller and more dexterous felt. It reminded her of the times she'd experimented with her fingers as a young woman. Only lacking the awkward uncertainty of those early sexual awakenings. Instead it was just a constant and unceasing barrage of pleasure hitting in the perfect ebb and flow. More than once she could actually feel both tongues pushing towards one another with such force the thin walls dividing her ass and pussy felt almost nonexistent. It was in those moments that she was at her most overwhelmed, ecstasy flooding her senses and juices spilling out of her cunt in unheard of quantities. She might have felt bad for the Asari she was almost certainly drowning in her arousal had she been able to process that kind of complex emotion. Miranda couldn't even hear the steady drip of her own fluids splashing onto the floor and that was audible loud enough to reach the far end of the restaurant. Her mind had all but forgotten about Jack even as her half lidded eyes occasionally glimpsed her companion beside her. Somehow the presence of another woman undergoing the same delightful experience just didn't penetrate her mind. The only thing in the world that mattered was those appendages inside her and maybe the being they belonged to. Minutes passed in the blink of an eye as she was unrelentingly licked and tongue fucked to limits of her sanity. For all she knew Miranda had been there for hours or even days, squirming and trying to remain composed even while her body lost all control.

She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes tight. In a momentary fit of uncontrollable pleasure she slammed a fist down on the table. Neither Jack nor the Asari women pleasuring them reacted at all to the outburst and Miranda herself was too overcome to think much about it. Indeed she didn't think much about anything as those tongues worked her holes so effectively she felt like a plaything. Even though she was the one teetering at the edge of an incredible orgasm it seemed as if the Asari pushing her there was the one really enjoying herself. Nothing else could quite explain the absolute passion with which she moved. Both hands had found their way to Miranda's sticky thighs, pushing them apart and lightly stroking her skin in a way that made her shiver wholly independent from the obvious pleasure. At some point her fingers moved inwards towards her stuffed and creamy pussy where they were able to playfully tease her clit in a manner that seemed all but designed to make her scream. The first time she felt those soft digits against her swollen bud Miranda didn't even comprehend the sudden burst of pleasure. It arrived in the middle of another surge and her body was so woefully unprepared the entire thing passed her by completely. But when the next lightning bolt struck her it did so at the perfect place. After pulling back until her tongues were almost completely absent the unbelievably skilled waitress slowly re-entered Miranda's holes while at the same time softly kneading her clit with the tips of her index fingers. This resulted in a barrage of sensations so powerful and so perfect she couldn't utter a single peep despite wanting nothing more than to scream in pure ecstasy. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the table and her entire body shook so hard she looked like she was being electrocuted. Juices gushed out of her pussy in thick, creamy stands,a prelude of what was to come as the Asari wisely repeated the motion again. Except the second time around she pushed her tongues just a hair deeper than they'd ever gone.

And just like that it was all over for Miranda. Everything faded into a cacophony of pleasure as her vision went dark and her entire body stiffened. For one brief, wonderful second she remained perched on the edge of a cliff overlooking the vast, yawning sea of ecstasy beneath her. In the next she plummeted headfirst into the maelstrom without every looking back. Each and every one of her muscles seemed to shake independently of one another with her mouth hanging open and her eyes widening until they couldn't open any further. As she threw her head back and juices exploded from her cunt the sweat soaked mass of hair surrounding her face flew upwards in a graceful arc. Her strong yet sultry features turned a deep, passionate red while her chest heaved with ever frantic attempt at a breath. Completely unaware of herself or anything except the bliss suffusing her body she had no idea her legs had clamped down around the Asari between them as her ass and pussy quivered madly around the tongues that'd given them such pleasure. Alternately sucking each appendage deeper and trying to push it back out her body was a mess of conflicting desires and emotions all piling on top of one another. Somewhere in the storm of flailing limbs, gushing pussy, and uncontrolled lust Miranda's hands wound up grabbing the waitresses head. For a split second she tried to pull the woman deeper inside her, to encourage her to go even further and really shatter her fragmented mind. But that desire passed almost instantly and the soft ridges soon became a haven to latch on to. The eye of the hurricane that was her ecstasy. One she desperately needed as seconds turned into minutes and her pleasure continued to last, the puddle she'd unleashed onto the floor growing so wide it was visibly seeping out from underneath the table. But no matter how long it lasted the human body wasn't meant for the kind of endless orgasms that other races could enjoy and despite how much she wanted to be different Miranda was no exception. 

Uttering a final, climactic gasp she collapsed against the seat in a heap of twitching limbs. Her eyes fluttered shut while the rest of her body weakly twitched from the aftershocks still lighting up her nerves. Much of her blushing face was hidden by sweaty strands of once elegantly made up hair, only those falling across her opened mouth moving. The Asari beneath the table continued to work her sopping wet cunt and quivering pussy but her movements were growing noticeably slower as the bulk of Miranda's climax faded. As she settled into the comfortable haze of post coitus bliss her head slowly hung forward and her breathing slowed. Thanks to a near total lack of sexual release in quite some time she was on the verge of passing out completely. By contrast her dinner companion was still very much in the throes of fresh, vibrant passion. Jack didn't even notice what her ship mate experiencing. She was much to enthralled with her own double tongued waitress to give a single damn about anyone. That much was clear in the almost over the top contrast she formed to Miranda. Where her ally had been understated and quiet right up until the moment of truth she was as loud and passionate as a woman could be. With her feet still perched against the edge of the table and her baggy pants pulled down to her ankles so the Asari could work her magic without any trouble Jack was as brazen as possible in her enjoyment. And thanks to the way she was sitting just about any nearby patron could look aside and see the sloppy, creamy mess that was the customer and her server. Especially when Jack reached down with both hands and pulled her alien lover against her aching holes.

“Fuck yes!” Jack panted as an orgasm welled up inside her, “Fuck yes just like that! Don't you fucking stop! AHHHHHH GOD DON'T FUCKING STOP!”

Fluid sprayed from her pussy and her ass tightened considerably as the inner walls of both holes clamped down around the tongues. Her back arched harder than ever and she unleashed a string of profanities that would make a Krogan nervous as ecstasy rushed through her body. And although she was almost drowning in the flood of creamy arousal spraying into her face the Asari between Jack's thighs didn't pull back. In fact she did the exact opposite and pushed herself even harder against the trembling human woman seated in front of her. Since she'd already pleasured this customer once before she knew exactly what would make her squeal the loudest and subsequently earn her the biggest tip. So naturally her tongue writhed like made against every sensitive spot inside her slit and asshole while her soft lips pushed so hard against them Jack was actually moved a couple centimeters backwards. Almost as if in response to that enthusiasm she clenched her teeth and grinded against the smiling blue face currently responsible for her ecstasy. She pulled the talented waitress even deeper inside her, the plump outer folds against which she was pressed spreading wide to accommodate the effort. This lasted for well over a minute until she finally had enough. With a burst of strength she grabbed the back of the Asari's head and pulled her away. Multiple gooey strands connected her azure lips to Jack's sopping cunt and a few little squirts of arousal launched out of her pussy as both tongues slid free at the same time. The pair grinned at one another for a moment until the server quietly pulled away and the thoroughly satisfied biotic let her legs return to the ground.

Jack paid for the both of them a few minutes after she finished cumming. Miranda was still slowly pulling herself together when she noticed her dinner companion pulling up her pants and sliding out of their booth, “W-wait . . . where are you going?”

“Back to the ship.”

“But what about me?”

“You do whatever you want cheerleader.” Jack laughed, “If you wanna stay for another meal be my guest. The girls here are used to that sort of thing.”

“But—” Jack walked off before Miranda could continue and she was left slumped in her seat and unable to get her body under control.

Another waitress approached with a knowing smile and asked, “Did you need some help Miss?”

“Uhm . . .” Miranda looked at the exit through which her ally had just departed and then back at the beautiful, smiling Asari woman in front of her, “C-can I have a menu please?”