The Miranda Mountains (Patreon)

As we all know by now, I am an incredible climber. Even tho I have no muscle, no cardio and no will for to move my body, I am an incredible climber. I know that as long as I never give up, I can't give up. Or whatever.

Today, I will conquer the highest of highest, the mothers of all mountains, the most dangerous of climb: The Mighty Miranda Mountains.

This climb is particularly dangerous because I do not know the Miranda regions at all. I do not know if the land is ticklish or sensitive. I go into this blind, like when you choose the hard difficulty in a videogame. Life is a dangerous sport, play it.

I will start in the armpit region, because of the warm climate and pleasant smell. Armpit regions can be wet sometimes but it don't scare me. Wet don't scare me. I was born in the wet. I was molded by the wet. I'm only scared of the Tinnitus Man. And spiders. And a couple more things.

I will then make my way toward the base of the mountains. I think I will climb the left one today. I chosen the left one because of how the camera is set up.

I've heard via spying on Sebastien that the Mighty Mirandas are actually milk volcanoes. There is a chance that when I reach the nipple region, some milk eruptions might ruin my endeavors. I must for to be careful. And bring chocolate cookies.

It is now time for me to climb. I am now putting this message in a bottle and I will throw it in the famous Canadian Ocean.

To YOU, who found this message, please call Delphine and tell her I might be late for dinner, depending on the milk eruptions.

Thank you.