Dream Monsters: Turd Men (Patreon)

The next few floors had more hostile creatures, but none of them really stood out to my memory- big flying bugs with snapping jaws, snarling dogs with bulging red eyes, and a few other unremarkable but dangerous beasts. It wasn't until the seventh floor when we met the Turd Men. As their name implies, they were humanoid creatures made entirely of fecal matter- the ones shown here made from dog and cat turds, respectively. As we ran from them, the Turd Men were singing "Turd turd turd, turd is the word" over and over to the tune of "Surfin' Bird" (I am not making that up), all the while flailing their arms wildly and trying to grab us. I knew if a turd man licked you, you would turn into a turd man yourself, so we did our best to get to the elevator to the next floor, which thankfully shut just seconds before the Turd Men grabbed us.