Chapter 288: In da club (Patreon)

Another Hoig stands before us, this one with an amethyst crystal planted in his forehead. Unlike the last Hoig, however, this one is a male, and moreover, huge. His form towers over us, reminding me of Hoigzilla—the female Hoig chieftain we took out in Hub Three to secure our own island—except with more friggin’ muscles. Webbed hands that look ready to tear apart steel fold together before he bows at me and Alec.

“Pardon my manners,” the amethyst Peilor chimes. “You are Farouq, yes? I’m Sergei. We haven’t met, but—”

“You were on the show weren’t you?” I chime in Farouq’s voice. “With Alec.”

“Yes, I was!” Sergei, AKA ‘The Sarge,’ chimes, sounding rather pleased and surprised that I’m aware of his existence at all.

I guess that might have something to do with how simple his cut is. Seems like Sergei is a mere Solith-tier Peilor. Actually, that might explain why Kaitlynn is ignoring us, and has Loudmouth looking the other way. It would be beneath Lyrack’s dignity to be seen interacting with the poor chum.

“How is my little spaghetti-arms treating you?” Sergei asks excitedly. “He hasn’t been giving you trouble, has he?”

This is, of course, a wonderful opportunity to get in some ribbing on Alec, but I decide to be merciful—and not take any risks—and play it straight.

“He’s been a wonderful host,” I chime diplomatically. “I really appreciate his artistic talents.”

“Hmm, yes,” Sergei chimes with a fond sigh. “I was never able to spare much attention to developing his creativity—I was too worried he would get his scrawny little neck twisted by another contestant! I’m glad you can appreciate him for it more than I could, however. Anyway, I’m sorry for intruding, I just... wanted to see how the little fellow was doing.”

A hint of what sounds like genuine emotion bleeds through in his words, and I can feel Alec’s muscles tensing and untensing as he awkwardly shifts his weight.

“Well, he's getting regular meals, and plenty of both rest and exercise,” I chime, unable to keep myself from adding, “Including push-ups, of course.”

Sergei laughs boisterously. “Good, good. It sounds like you’re taking excellent care of him. That makes me happy. I’ll stop bothering you now, then. Enjoy the festivities!”

And with that, the massive mountain of Hoigmeat lumbers away.

<Well, that was something else, wasn’t it?> I send to Alec.

<Yeah... it really was,> comes the wistful reply. <Man, Sarge was always on my case, nagging me to do train more, work harder... Once I found about the show, I figured that was all he’d cared about, but now...>

<Kinda seems like he actually cares about you, huh?> I remark.

<Yeah,> Alec replies softly. <You know who he reminds me of?>

<Well?>

<You.>

That’s... that’s actually quite sweet.

<Huh,> I send back after a moment. <Well, I have been saying you should do more push-ups...>

<Harhar. I just... I dunno, I’ve been getting the feeling that the Peilor are more like us than they like to admit.>

<Yeah, I get what you mean,> I reply. <But this isn’t the time or place for this conversation.>

<Right. Let’s try to find Dave.>

Kaitlynn soon gets bogged down talking to some friends of Lyrack, however, and has to stay and chat with them while keeping up his new ‘depressed’ persona. Not long after, I’m also forced to greet some Peilor that Farouq instructed me to interact with to avoid suspicion—mainly some other Flawed-tier Peilor on the production staff that he apparently worked with.

It takes me a couple of minutes to extract myself from the conversation again, upon which I instruct Alec to go check out the courtyard, where we find the promised portal leading to the secondary event location.

Specifically, the Yin-Yang Temple in Hub Two.

Seeing as this stable Warptunnel is crucial to our plan, I give the area a good once-over, and am glad to find only a few attendants, and little to no security presence.

Kaitlynn finds us there a little later, Loudmouth coming to stand next to Alec with a dopey look on his face, courtesy of my Commands.

“I spotted him,” Kaitlynn whispers to me excitedly, using only the minimum amount of Espir required to send the short message.

My Imaginary heart skips a beat.

“Irus isn’t in place yet,” I whisper back, using Suri’s simple codename. “Hold off on engaging.”

I know she’s not in place yet, because I’ve yet to receive a signal.

In Alec’s hip pocket, there’s a collection of small conjured buttons in three different colours, for exactly that purpose. And in return, there’s a similarly coloured set of shells conjured by me on Suri’s side, held in the cheek of Longlegs.

If a cyan button or shell disappears, things are moving according to plan, and we proceed to the next phase. If a yellow one vanishes, on the other hand, there are complications and the other party needs to either wait or stall.

If the singular magenta button or shell vanishes, we’ve got a big problem, and need to abort.

It was Suri’s idea, so she got to pick the colours. I guess these are less obvious than green, orange and red ones, at least. Or perhaps that only makes it less obvious to humans, I suppose.

Either way, since all the buttons are still in Alec’s pocket, we take a stroll around the garden, idly chatting about the show and our favourite ‘contestants,’ while time trickles by.

Honestly, it’s not a problem. Trying to approach Yog too soon would be bad manners, anyway, and would likely result in his refusal to entertain us. Despite knowing this, every lap around the courtyard makes me more anxious, until finally...

One of the cyan buttons in Alec’s pocket disappears.

Yes!

“Cyan,” I say quietly. “Let’s find Sudo.”

Seeing us approach, Sudo easily disengages from conversation and wordlessly falls into formation, as we head in Yog’s general direction.

And there he is. Dave.

I can feel Alec’s muscles twitching at the sight of our friend, and his spirit straining at the Command to keep his face in check.

And I can see why.

Apparently, Dave’s original look wasn’t entirely Yog’s style.

His long, flowing hair is no longer brown, frizzy, and held in a ponytail, but intricately braided, slick, and a shade of blonde that’s so platinum, it’s almost white. His bullhorns have been reshaped to something more curvy and subtle, shaped almost like a crown, and what skin peeks out from his somewhat old-fashioned crimson attire is a healthy gold.

All in all, I’d probably have trouble recognising him if it weren’t for his eyes, which are the same deep pools of warm brown.

I shake myself mentally and focus instead on our main obstacle and adversary, Yog.

The crystal lodged in Dave’s forehead is nearly the same shade of white as his hair, except there’s a kind of shimmering, pearlescent effect over it, that—combined with the intricate cut—somehow produces a sheen of shifting colours.

And as we get closer, it’s hard to miss the playful, warm baritone voice emanating from it, as he entertains some sycophants.

Sudo parks us at the periphery, where she engages us in polite conversation.

As Sudo’s the only true Peilor among us, we’ve long decided that she would be taking the lead here—hard as I find it to put such a crucial part of the mission in the hands of our unwilling accomplice.

Still, it’s clear even to me that Yog is having too much fun with his adoring audience to be disturbed right now.

It takes an agonising amount of time for the sycophants to trickle away, and dwindle down to manageable numbers. Just when I’m starting to wonder if Sudo is now somehow deliberately delaying us to sabotage the mission, she makes her move.

A slight tilt of Jacob’s head is all the signal we get before he heads straight over to Dave, the rest of us trailing right behind.

Yog falls silent for a moment at our approach, before laughing delightedly. “Well well well, if it isn’t my fellow Blue Dragon Riders!”

Internally, I have a very mixed reaction to this statement. On the one hand, I want to drag him out of his crystal and punch him in the face for it, and on the other, I’m dancing for joy as this is exactly what we’d hoped for.

“Greetings, your excellency,” Sudo chimes smoothly, as Jacob executes a bow at the waist. “It is a pleasure to share any kind of designation with such esteemed company.”

Kaitlynn follows up with a similar statement, while Alec bows so deep he nearly prostates himself, holding the pose for a couple of long seconds.

The Lustrous tier really is a different kind of beast altogether. There are only about a few dozen of them in total, and as a Flawed-tier Peilor, Farouq doesn’t even get to speak in their presence under normal circumstances.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Yog answers jovially, somehow conveying the meaning with a clear undertone that tells everyone it’s really only a false platitude.

He continues to ask Sudo some sharp questions about her recent exploits, while seemingly mostly ignoring Lyrack.

We expected as much, as Lyrack’s status is currently being questioned after his prolonged disappearance from the stage, but for now it works to our advantage.

As long as Yog doesn’t let it affect his final decision...

At some point, I become aware of a nearby, Pellucid-tier sycophant sending ‘subtle’ flashes of disapproval at me, clearly signalling that I ought to clear the floor for my betters, but I fully ignore them.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure Farouq would have done the same in my shoes; he’s all about that silent rebellion. Makes my life much easier, pretending to be him.

Still, Yog’s interest appears to be flagging, and Sudo has yet to engage our main topic, so I can’t help but get impatient.

Goddess definitely knows what she’s doing when it comes to Commands, I reassure myself. Sudo will have no choice but to do her stinking best, I just have to trust in that.

And indeed, mere seconds later, Sudo puts on a mysterious, slightly teasing tone, and broaches the prepared subject. “You know, Yog,” she chimes in her customary stage whisper. “I actually recently learned of a rather entertaining secret regarding the Blue Dragons, that was never shown on the show.”

As planned, Kaitlynn reacts to this with an excellent impression of Lyrack regaining some of his old spark. “Oh? You never told me about this!”

“That’s because it’s a surprise, my friend,” Sudo chimes. “That’s how those work.”

Yog laughs. “Well, you can’t hold out on us now! Tell us the secret!”

“Hmm, I suppose I could,” Sudo chimes. “However, I believe it’s better shown than told. Moreover, I do think some secrets are best kept exclusive to those who can afford to become Blue Dragon Riders, wouldn’t you agree?”

There it is, exclusive, the word Suri explicitly instructed her to use, and our best hope of getting rid of the peanut gallery.

For a moment, it seems like the whole gathering collectively holds its breath at the audacity of the attempt at exclusion, but there’s ultimately only one arbiter here authorised to make a decision.

“Well well well,” Yog chimes. “What did you have in mind?”

Author's note:

And, did you guess right that it was 'The Sarge'? ^^