Chapter 275: I was elected to lead, not to read (Patreon)

I stare down at the lifeless yellow crystal still embedded in Loudmouth’s forehead.

At Lyrack’s corpse.

Guess his gamble of purchasing Loudmouth didn’t pay off after all. Unlucky bastard.

Anyway, this is... this is a problem.

In my defence, holding back wasn’t really an option either. If Lyrack had managed to alert the theatre’s security somehow—

“Emma?” Loudmouth croaks through my incorporeal hand—which still covers his mouth—as he looks up at me via his massive vanity mirror. “That you?”

“Yes,” I quickly hiss back, “please keep your voice down, Loudmouth.”

If only I could make a sound-dampening field here like the one we installed in Trisha’s Teahouse. Unfortunately, Espir can’t influence physical matter, so there’s really nothing I can do to stop the sound of his voice from travelling.

Nor could I have stopped anyone from hearing what went on in here earlier.

The door to the adjoining bathroom creaks open, and a green face with a pair of bulging eyes peeks out. “Loudmouth? Aack! What going on here?!”

“Uhh...” Loudmouth croaks, uncertain, his eyes flitting from the Hoig asking the question to the many glowing purple tendrils I’ve still got wrapped around him. “Nothing?”

“YOU REALISE EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU WISH TO STAY IN THE BATH, AND QUIETLY ENJOY THE HYDRUM,” I Command, directing my voice at both the Hoig peeking out, and the one behind her.

She stiffens as the Command settles easily in her Core—and his as well—then closes the door behind her before wet footsteps and a soft splash tell me she’s returned to the bath.

Splitting a single Command between two different beings would usually be inadvisable, but their spirits are so weak and untrained that it should be fine as a stopgap measure.

I’ve got bigger fish to fry.

“All right, Loudmouth, listen carefully,” I tell my friend as I let go of him, retracting my tendrils as I float back a little so he can turn around to face me. “I’ll answer all of your questions, I promise, but I need you to trust me and do as I say for now, okay?”

“Of course!” Loudmouth croaks loudly, puffing himself up. Upon seeing my face, he sheepishly deflates, and repeats himself more quietly. “Of course. Loudmouth listen to Friend Emma.”

“Good,” I reply with a sigh, running my hand through my hair. “I’m afraid I’ve made a bit of a mess of this, and if anyone finds out Lyrack is dead, we’re probably both in big trouble.”

Loudmouth’s eyes widen. “Mister Lyrack dead?”

I nod. “Yeah, I’m afraid so. Now, I need you to hang on to this,” I say as I conjure a Rubik’s Cube. “And pay close attention to it. If you forget about it or ignore it for too long, I’ll have no way to come back here, okay?”

Loudmouth accepts the offered item with reverence. “What... what this?!”

“Ehm, it’s a kind of... puzzle box,” I reply, blinking.

“Loudmouth will guard with life!”

Okay well that’s... a bit much maybe, but it’s the right spirit, I guess.

“Good,” I say. “I’m going to leave now to get some help, but I’ll be right back, and until I am, I’ll need you to stay here and not let anyone in, okay?”

It takes a moment for Loudmouth to pull his gaze away from the toy, but he finally does, puffing up his chest before he replies. “No problem!”

And with that, I yank on my connection to the anchor I left in Herman’s Haven, and pull myself back to the Realm of Imagination.

Loudmouth shrieks and almost trips over his own feet—dropping my Rubik’s Cube in the process—when I pop back into the dressing room mere minutes later.

He quickly perks up, however, when he notices who I dragged down here with my right hand. “Friend Kaitlynn!” he croaks, his eyes quickly growing watery. Hydrumy? Moist.

Kaitlynn launches herself into a hug, laughing when his hands pass right through her as he tries to return it. “Hey Loudmouth! It’s great to see you.”

“Good grief,” Suri chimes from my left, conjuring her human guise to look around disapprovingly the moment I let go of her. “I had expected your brief description of the interior to be hyperbole. I stand corrected.”

“Ah, Friend like Loudmouth’s room? Loudmouth designed himself!” Loudmouth boasts over Kaitlynn’s shoulder.

That... explains a lot.

“Wait...” Loudmouth blinks at Suri’s conjuration. “Ah... did... did Friend—Friend... Dave?—lose some weight?” he asks hesitantly.

Suri goes rigid, and I have to clasp a hand over my mouth to stop from laughing. Okay, I think I’m starting to see why Loudmouth’s act was a success.

Why’d he guess she was Dave though? Could it be just because Dave was the only other one with long hair?

Kaitlynn quickly pulls back, laughing awkwardly. “Ehm, Loudmouth this is Suri, she’s—well, let’s just call her a new friend.”

“Ah, New Friend!” Loudmouth croaks loudly, perking up. “Loudmouth knew that, of course, just, ehm, just making joke. Learnt how from Mister Lyrack.”

“I’m sure,” Suri chimes dryly.

I decide to cut to business before the Hoig gets the chance to derail the conversation any further. “Okay Loudmouth, we may not have much time, so I’m going to need you to focus, yeah?”

He blinks at me, then turns serious. “Friend Emma speak, Loudmouth listen.”

“Good. So, first things first, we came here to rescue you.”

“Aah... that... so nice. Of Friends,” Loudmouth croaks, suddenly sounding rather awkward. He glances around shiftily, and I track his gaze as it moves from the little tables full of bite-sized snacks, over the high-thread-count, plush carpet on the floor, to the racks of fancy clothing, and finally to the adjoining bathroom with his two partners or conquests or whatever. “Loudmouth... in real trouble before Friends came,” he concludes. “Sooo happy for rescue. Really appreciate. Wow.”

I take a deep breath, fighting the urge to rub my temple as I feel a headache coming on. “It seems like we may have accidentally ruined a good thing for you, Loudmouth, and we’re really sorry if that’s the case. However, the truth is... we’re in real trouble, and we need your help. Will you help us?”

A shudder seems to pass through Loudmouth’s body at those final words, and he lifts a shaking, webbed hand to his mouth. He tries to speak, but chokes on his words at first, seeming overcome with emotion, kinda like... like he’s been waiting his whole life to hear those words.

Then he abruptly slaps himself in the face and stands up ramrod straight. “Loudmouth would never abandon fellow Blue Dragons. Just say word, Loudmouth will help.”

“That’s very sweet, Loudmouth,” I reply softly. “Thank you. Now, we had a plan, but I’m afraid I messed it up. Lyrack was supposed to fall under my control, rather than die, so we’ve been forced to get... creative, and we’ve come up with some options for our next move. However, they all affect you greatly, so we decided we couldn’t make this decision without you.”

A slightly constipated expression falls over Loudmouth’s face that suggests that I may be going a bit fast for him, and the questioning look he shoots Kaitlynn does nothing to diminish that impression.

“When the other Peilor find out Lyrack is dead, they’ll be upset, and they may hurt you,” she translates. “So we need a way to get you out of here or prevent that from happening somehow. It’s going to be all right, just listen carefully, yeah?”

Loudmouth swallows heavily. “No problem. Loudmouth brave. Totally not scared.”

“Good. So, option one,” I continue gently, “would be for you to commit suicide.”

Loudmouth freezes, an expression of almost comical disbelief on his face.

“It wouldn’t be real death,” Kaitlynn explains, shooting me a displeased look. “You’d become like us, a spirit.”

Loudmouth’s eyes widen. “Friends are... are ghosts?!”

My brow furrows as I watch him shudder in reaction. What, is he afraid of ghosts or something? That’s so silly, ghosts don’t ex—

I resist the urge to facepalm. “Well, so we’re kind of like ghosts,” I admit grudgingly, “but also not. We don’t linger in this Realm—usually. The spirits have their own Realm, and it’s beautiful. If you pick this option we’ll take you there, and you’d live a great life there, I guarantee it.”

Loudmouth seems to consider that for a moment. “Loudmouth live there with Friends?”

I hesitate for a moment, then nod. While I can’t guarantee that we’ll survive our opposition to Starmother, I have no doubt Loudmouth would be plenty popular in the Realm of Imagination, even without us. “You’d live there with lots and lots of friends,” I promise. “Now, option two, would be for us to try and sneak you out of here, and find you a place to lie low. It’d be less permanent, but... well, you’d be a fugitive, and we can’t guarantee they won’t discover you during or after the escape.”

Loudmouth moves over to a truly distasteful, lime-green armchair with clawed feet carved out of pale wood, and sits down heavily. “What... what third option?”

“The third and final option,” I say, starting slow, “is for us to try to pretend Lyrack is still alive. We’d have Suri try to use illusions to impersonate him, and make excuses for him, say he’s going to take a sabbatical, to find himself or something like that. Now, I’m not gonna lie; this option would probably be best for us, and for the rest of the Blue Dragons, as it would allow us to gather information using his identity—”

“Loudmouth pick option three!” Loudmouth croaks quickly, perking up.

“—but for you it’s probably the riskiest option,” I continue, putting extra emphasis on it to make sure the message comes across. “It has the highest odds of you being discovered and caught by the Peilor, and while we can escape into the Realm of Imagination at the drop of a hat, you, well...”

Loudmouth blinks slowly at me.

Kaitlynn moves over to hover in front of him, and puts a slender hand on his meaty, webbed fingers. “You don’t have to choose the option you think we want you to pick, Loudmouth; we don’t want you to do anything you don’t want. I guess what I’m trying to say is that... whichever option you choose, we’re not going to think any less of you.”

“Friend Kaitlynn very kind,” Loudmouth croaks calmly. “but Loudmouth still pick option three. Mister Lyrack tried to tell Loudmouth Friends not Friends, but Loudmouth know better. If Friends need help, Loudmouth will help.”

I frown, a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Lyrack talked to you about... us? What did he say?”

Loudmouth freezes. “Aack, nothing! And Mister Lyrack definitely not show Loudmouth footage of Friends murdering Hoig village, Loudmouth know nothing about that!”

Author's note:

Did you all miss Loudmouth as much as I did? ^^