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HELLO PATRONS!

Apologies for the delays on recent vids! As you guys may know, we're in Victoria where restrictions are super strict at the moment. We've been trying to work up a backlog of videos so that if we do ever get shutdown, we can keep getting content out to you guys.

This has meant Ryan has been promoted to main channel editor to handle the extra workload of videos,  which resulted in a gap while we hunted for a full time patreon editor to make sure you guys can get the content in a timely manner.

The Good news is, WE FOUND ONE!

Our Mate Rowey will be 100% focused on editing and posting Patreon vids, he's a super talented guy and a great addition to the team, and his contribution will ensure we never stretch out a gap to this size again.

We hope you can understand that we're in exceptional times right now, and we're hoping to go back to normal once we can legally leave our houses again.

Thanks for the support, more content coming soon!

❤️COLD ONES

Files

buying everything advertised patreon.mp4

This is "buying everything advertised patreon.mp4" by Chad Roberts on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them.

Comments

Anonymous

Kings! Made my day

Anonymous

wow Max looking mighty breedable

Anonymous

Aye yo?

Anonymous

Scott?

Anonymous

scott forgor 💀

Anonymous

Poggers

Anonymous

Hell yeah

Anonymous

Deez nuts

HookSniffer

Ohhh my god finally ! Thank you Scott !

Anonymous

FINALLY

Anonymous

Amazing, show stopping, breathtaking

CT

scobb

Anonymous

Thanku <3

Anonymous

Max looks mighty breedable

Anonymous

Much love from South Africa 🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦

Chloe

Yay FINALLY!!!!

Anonymous

Scogg it says vid does not exost

Anonymous

FINALLY! VIDEO

Anonymous

Video doesn’t exist 🥲

Anonymous

Video isn’t working my erection has died

Anonymous

Video does not exist ☹️

Anonymous

Scott fell off, jk thanks Scott!

Seth Englert

Wait it’s not working for me, it says the video doesn’t exist

Anonymous

ok scot

Anonymous

Video not warking ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

Kenjoda

Scott can do me if he wants uwu

Anonymous

Link don’t work haha

Anonymous

Finally... Shrek

Anonymous

“Sorry, this video does not exist” :/

Anthony

getting a feature length movie hell yeah

Anonymous

Y’all rockin with video doesn’t exist

Anonymous

wtf 😡😡😡

Anonymous

Video does not exist :(

Anonymous

Not working :( love u guys!!

Anonymous

bruh chain 😐

Anonymous

💆‍♂️💆‍♂️💆‍♂️💆‍♂️💆‍♂️

Anonymous

It doesn’t exist

Anonymous

I can’t watch the vid is it just me

Anonymous

where video

Anonymous

Where’s the newest video?

Anonymous

My balls itch

Anonymous

i feel blueballed

Anonymous

it doesn't exist

Anonymous

excuse me

John Robinson

Chad just uploaded the Patreon post and not vid lmao

Anonymous

It works for me, on safari

Anonymous

I'm only at a semi rn, need to see chad

Anonymous

Ducking click bait wankers, subscribe to mr.beast for real content

Anonymous

😩😩😩😩

Anonymous

Finally, non existent video 🤩

Anonymous

Tanks slog

Anonymous

Chad doesn't know how to work a PC 🤣

Anonymous

Cant watch chad fuck a dildo cos there's no vid

Anonymous

deetz nutz. deez?

Anonymous

I wanna see chad fuck them tits brah

Anonymous

No vid why do I even gib money

Anonymous

No Vid, mega sad

Anonymous

chads teasing us ;3

Anonymous

Nah Chad your just getting richer. A tit job never cost 50k

Anonymous

If you paste the link into your browser it works just not in the patreon app :)

Anonymous

FiNALy sex toys

Anonymous

Why the fuck Is it gonr

Anonymous

Chads drunk, nice cock

Anonymous

Finally, lazy.

Anonymous

wrong video?

Anonymous

This videos is too powerful

Anonymous

there are gun channels on Floatplane made by the LinusTechTips dudes as an example. might be worth reaching out to Luke of Floatplane if you need a Patreon/Vimeo alternative.

Anonymous

make an only fans

Anonymous

Shut up

Anonymous

I also seem to remember them saying that they want floatplane to be more than just tech people and want it to span the entire spectrum of content, I think it'd be really good for both parties involved tbh.

Anonymous

I am sad 😞

Anonymous

Chad you cunt why

Anonymous

I wanna see it

Anonymous

Plastic surgery has def gotten less expensive u can get a bbl for like $4k LMAO

Anonymous

Trolled

Anonymous

Why do we even give money 💰 😔😔😔

Anonymous

where da bideo

Anonymous

I’ve been lied to

Joel

If you get this video back up Chad you neanderthal I’ll eat your pubes in a cheese sanga!

TheRealExE

i like how negativ some ppl here are cause of 4,50€ fking Pepegas

Anonymous

Yep - I’m watching through my browser now and it works fine 🤙🏽

Anonymous

its 5 dollars chill tf out ur not giving them your life savings

Anonymous

If you copy the link you can watch it through your browser and it plays all good that's what I'm doing :)

Anonymous

If you copy the link you can watch it through your browser and it plays all good that's what I'm doing :)

Anonymous

Bout time boyz

TheRealExE

i dunno either they just said in the first 2 min why things are like they are and ppl are still upset

Anonymous

lets go babey

Anonymous

where is chad fucking a fleshlight

Anonymous

dont delete patreon chad youre so sexy :(((

Anonymous

Where is chad fuckn

Anonymous

Are some of the older vids gone?

Anonymous

It says there’s no video!!! 😭

Anonymous

Like dis comment if ur Patreon money is wasted

Anonymous

Finally... Browser Video 🧑‍🔬

Anonymous

Where's the vid it says no video exists

Anonymous

im ngl where is the screen recording of the shopping portion??

Anonymous

can i has chesburger :3

Dilloid

Fuck everyone here complaining about paying, it's been up for an hour, give them a chance to fix it, and unsubscribe if you're not happy

Jackson Beers

maybe just start doing just bts stuff and then leave the normal content on yt

Anonymous

just fucking use youtube unlisted videos bruh no one cares that we still have access to that if we run out of money, cocksuckers. also stop enjoying money.

Adam Stele

FINALLY SCOTT WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Alexander Wittich

Cheers, thank you for finally uploading this and making it extra long. You'd guys make it easier on yourselves if you would just communicate it better with us if something unfortunate happened that interferes with uploading content on here. To us, it feels like you just don't care, if we hear nothing for a month.

Anonymous

WAH WAHHH WAHHHHH I cant afford 5 dollars to give to content creators who blow hundreds of thousands of dollars to entertain me WAHHH WAHHHH. shut up pussies

Anonymous

Thank you ❤️❤️ Love you guys xx

Anonymous

sald bepsi

Anonymous

Also anyone thats mad at me, just know you fucks spent 5 bucks trying to watch chad fuck a sex doll and use a penis enlarger.

SoriMasn

Cold ones patreon kinda fell off. I come here to see chads dick but don’t get but maybe a frame or 2 a month.

Anonymous

just joined patreon and lmao to all the plebs complaining

Anonymous

You guys fell off

Anonymous

Deez big nuts

Anonymous

It doesn’t exist, just like my father

Anonymous

My dick fell off

phatcunt

Vimeo can suck my 2 inch

Anonymous

Bro children in the comments getting pissy clearly you’ve never experienced the pure unpredictability of cold ones 🦾👽

Anonymous

Wrong wish video?

Anonymous

Nobody else catch the fact chad bought the series 6 apple watch in the video and they waited so long to post this here that the series 7 is out now

Hazz

damn, Vimeo fell off

Anonymous

I just like it how everyone complains about 5$ like it’s a big deal, grow the fuck up. If you can’t afford 5$ a month then quit your Macdonald’s job and actually get a life lmfao

Anonymous

love when vimeo just fucking dies

Anonymous

I shitted farded

Anonymous

Yeah when I pay for shit I actually want something for it.

Anonymous

that's good news, all other mean comments i left regarding patreon can now be cancelled ily

Virtual Boi

shieeet I'll download some mp4s

Alexander Wittich

CHEERS, thanks for the update! Stay safe, don't let covid get you down.

Anonymous

video comes up on the website

Anonymous

next vid: WE BOUGHT THE CHEAPEST CHILD LABORERS AND TESTED THEIR LIMITS!!!

Felix

imagine the number of points these guys get on their credit cards

Patrick

https://youtu.be/oOOOfZWXPu4?t=0

Anonymous

the people sayin “stop complainin its only 5 bucks” clearly dont realise how fortunate they are and dont think about others. some people are stuck workin shitty jobs and have bills to pay! im thankful that i dont have to worry over $5 but not everyone is living the same life/ has it as easy, so to tell them to not complain after not recieving what theyre paying for, no matter the product, is so single minded. rant over lol

Anonymous

Ayyyee good job, love you guys

Anonymous

my name jeff

Anonymous

can't you private videos on youtube and just link it to patreon. thats what the aunty donna boys do

Anonymous

Mmmm this cum tastes like cum. With a hint of cum

Anonymous

Didn't even include the screen recording bruh

Salty

Meh, I'd rather want videos in less quantity so you don't run out of ideas

Anonymous

Yeah I wish they'd just chuck up a picture-in-picture or something. Without it, the first like 30 mins is kinda frustrating.

slik hades

Epic, the video doesn’t exist apparently

Anonymous

Video doesn't work in the patreon app but will play from mobile browser or desktop.

Salty

Where tf is the screen recording

p7m

Man Coldones fell off, but unironically. Waited 2 weeks for this and you didnt even show the screen recording.

Oedipism

I luv u?

Salty

Wait i got it, blurring adresses is nightmare

Anonymous

I know what I signed up for, I eat one less dinner per week for this

Ollie

something about a leg = funny

Anonymous

Dunno if this is an unpopular opinion but unless it's something like the latest vid where a lot of it can't make it on YouTube, I'd rather more Patreon-exclusive content than just longform unedited vids. I never find the time to watch 3 hours of apes deciding who to throw Cameo money at, even if I would really love to.

Gian

Finally, patreon video

Anonymous

Can anyone else watch the video? It is saying it doesn't exist for me... 😔

Anonymous

Video doesnt exist 😩😩😩😩fix pls

Anonymous

works for me

Anonymous

Videos not working man, subscribed to see chad fuck and your blue ballin me here

Sebastian

Bro it says video do not exist big sad

Anonymous

One Vimeo video doesn't work and suddenly cold ones "fell off" lmao. You guys need to chill a little bit, if they can fix it I'm sure they will.

coldones

We are aware that the video is not playing for some people, just refresh the page a couple times and it should work :) REGARLESS we pay retarded amounts of money to host videos on vimeo and we should NOT be having these issues. I have sent a VERY abusive email to someone at vimeo, I expect them to look into this.

J M

Susan wojinkiskiiik stole my kief collector

Anonymous

It doesn't work through the patron app, but it works in browser for me.

Andrew W.

Y'all are gonna hit six figures

Jesus Gonzalez

“This video doesn’t exist” moment

Anonymous

im honestly okay with not as much content, as long as the videos are good with funny concepts and have good content

Anonymous

If the video ain't workin 4 u in the Patreon App try switching to Browser, worked 4 me :)

Anonymous

Susan wokjijickkiy took everything from me

Anonymous

I can't watch it or download so I can watch offline :'(

Anonymous

Casting this video to my tv was like a 15 min endeavor...

Anonymous

Build a Plex server and give Patreons access to it ??? Might be cheaper idk

Nick Fortunato

U guys still quarantined what up wit dat

Anonymous

fuck vimeo

mitched

to chad: this is too long - chad. comment: sorry about vimeo, i would be happy with a weekly podcast for the patreons. to max: Maybe you could talk about your pokemon cards

Anonymous

they did in the beginning but youtube applies their algorithm's on unlisted and private videos so they get taken down

Anonymous

All of the older patreon posts are fucky as well, would be nice if we could rewatch them while waiting for new vids?

Anonymous

I'd pay more if that means we get faster long videos :) I'm sure a ton of us would.

Anonymous

"This video does not exist" lol sick 😂

Anonymous

Video does not exist

Anonymous

Me waiting for Chads Apple Watch 🤣

Tonyoli

It’s all good boys take your time

King Banana

damn SNAIDZ virus still trying too get you guys

Anonymous

why is $5 so expensive to yall lmfao get a job

caberwikijack

Thanks for the Twitter plug, boys!

Anonymous

I’m just happy that with all the crazy shit goin down in Aus you guys are still doing some content. All these retards complaining is hilarious to me. Just keep doin ur thing and try not to get arrested lmao

Anonymous

Very nice

Anonymous

sorry for being salty, sorry you guys had trouble getting vimeo to work. Great cut as always

Anonymous

Jeff :)

Anonymous

I just wanted to see chads ass cheeks :/

Kate

8:12

Ruby Soho

who up playing wif theyr worm

Anonymous

omg that between max downing 4 1/2 gallons of loose leaf english breakfast, and them actively trying to break each others neck with the iron neck was the funniest fucking shit. Worth the wait! See you on the next one in a month fuck vimeo

Anonymous

won’t let us watch it:/

Anonymous

I am stupid with my money and partially funded this

Anonymous

video does not exist, i feel scammed

Anonymous

For those with trouble viewing the video, use the browser not the app

Anonymous

it says it doesn’t exist :(

Anonymous

Video still not working...😥

Anonymous

Having trouble with vimeo's bullshit bandwidth charges.... SquareSpace it.

Anonymous

Love you guys 🖤 will always support 💋. You’ve both brought laughs and happiness in some of my darkest times, I appreciate the time effort and money that goes into Cold Ones. Hopefully covid lockdown will open up soon in AU. Xoxo

Anonymous

Aye man, no one freak out, y’all stressin for no reason give the drunk bastards a second to figure the problem out ya know what I’m sayinnnnn

Anonymous

The videos fucked not working

Anonymous

My Missus has an up and coming boob job and shes only paying 11k for it. her mum who got a boob job like 10 years ago was about 60k

OneIcyDuck

720p is fine with me! dont dlete plox chad :(

Anonymous

Tf max says video does not exist?

Anonymous

Why no work?

Anonymous

Its doesn’t work

Anonymous

Why you no work

Albert Flushington

maaaaaaan they're trying cut em some slack. refresh the page, i got it to work. fuck vimeo and the entirety of technology. uh balls fell off meme reference

Anonymous

where is wish video

Anonymous

y'all salty about the wish video while im just tryna date Chad, HIT ME UP BOY <3 The hair, the drip, the bod, like wife me up already goddamn

Jken

Finally.....an editor

Jesus Gonzalez

When you pay $5 to watch extended videos but patreon says the video doesn’t exist

Anonymous

Day 2 of checking to see if the post finalized. Checking once every hour just to be disappointed again and again. My hopes are still high because I know I will get to see chad have sex with many silicone sex toys.

Anonymous

I love how when Chad sings anything he just butchers the lyrics

Anonymous

put the screen of the laptop up bruh

Anonymous

This shit brokey, yea this shit brokey

Anonymous

pumped for the dangerous wish shit ... better be lit

Anonymous

I just wanna see Chad having i n t e r c o u r s e with random objects

Anonymous

Why no work?

Anonymous

*video does not exist* "The fuk?"

Azalah

when do they have passionate sex?

Anonymous

Use browser not the app, I watched it yesterday and he doesn't have sex with anything

Anonymous

Bru give me back my 7$ I can be drinking some cheap whine rn 🙄🥱😤

Feebeean

Chad knows many songs,, but not the lyrics

Anonymous

Since Vimeo is charging you guys so much money, did you try to move to cloud solutions like Google Cloud/AWS? I mean, it would probably be cheaper, but someone needs to know a bit about Cloud.

Anonymous

holy shit nearly 19k patrons. a month ago it was around 10k

Anonymous

dont make me say cold ones fell off ever again

Layla Saturn

damn so vimeo is proper fucking you in the ass huh? No other options? That sucks balls. But that being said, I'd be happy for a shitter qual patreon edit so we can get longer vods (the like three hour long supermega vod is my fav still haha), but I totes understand that its not an easy situation. Love the content either way boys.

Anonymous

maybe try doing youtube membership to upload the videos? Or would that be worse?

Anonymous

you fell off

Anonymous

Sorry. This video doesn't exist

Anonymous

where is Bruno and Boner?

Anonymous

Bro just make a plex server which only patrons have access to

Anonymous

login thru the web browser app on your phone

Anonymous

if you can only watch it on your phone, login to patreon through your safari app and the video should be available that way.

Anonymous

Video doesn’t exist you fucks!

Anonymous

Imagine being Vimeo and thinking "yeah these guys driving traffic to our site, they're the problem, lets charge them more >:)" I think its safe to say the only good reason to use Vimeo is to watch these patreon videos...

Anonymous

ye it dose m8 im watchin right now open your eyes m8 daft c*nt

Anonymous

Oh man, this shit busted

Anonymous

If it says "video doesn't exist" go to patreon thru the website and not the app and it should work fine

Anonymous

Man, it's dogshit easy to download vimeo videos anyway, if someone really wanted to release your patreon content somewhere, they would've done it by now. Just find another service honestly.

Paige

Yall need to axe vimeo already

Cripple

WHY DID CHAD NOT FUCK ANYTHING

Anonymous

Switch to floatplane if Vimeo is really doing this

Anonymous

man these comments dont pass the vibe check

Anonymous

Use Floatplane. Ditch Vimeo

Anonymous

finally, content

Anonymous

the videos not working :((

Anonymous

Video is missing :(

Anonymous

Just made an acc and subscribed to watch this and the video’s gone lol

Anonymous

vid still not up :(

Anonymous

Give me Chads sex toys

Anonymous

the vid is up just use a computer dweebs

Anonymous

Sorry this video does not exist

Anonymous

Come to Oxnard California I’ll show you how an American drinks

Anonymous

Pleaaassee dont removr patreon id give more money if i had it!! And how tf do you download the videos i want to heeellllpppp

Drew Byron

Congrats Chad on the weight loss man

Anonymous

Why not make ur own website similar to Patreon but dedicated to cold ones? Would that fix the bandwidth problem? I’d pay 10dollars for website fees

Anonymous

why was chads hand blurred when he closed the computer?

high lander

Not all the products that you bought were even in this video lmao, feelsverybad

Anonymous

broooooo where the new wish video is?

Anonymous

This video does not exist for me 😭

Sean Deegan

Doesnt exist for me either can someone fix this

Anonymous

pls give me content im hornyy

Anonymous

sign up for floatplane ez win

Anonymous

This doesn’t fuckinh work you pieces of absolute shit

Anonymous

This the new editor’s work? Fuckin piece of trash.

Anonymous

When’s the new Wish video coming out

Anonymous

The transparency is appreciated, cheers boys 🍺

Anonymous

Damn this guys angry^

Anonymous

sexoooooo

Anonymous

If you copy the link you can watch it in your browser 👍

Anonymous

If you copy the link you can watch it in your browser 👍

Anonymous

If you copy the link you can watch it in your browser 👍

Anonymous

Fuck off chad the patreon literally makes more than the salary of the president of the United States. Deleting it will be deleting money,

Anonymous

Yo we can all agree this vid is D-roll. As in "D-id you edit this with your Dick?"

Anonymous

chad my guy wheres the video where you buy shit from wish my guy

yeetios

In God's name, WHY aren't these boys PRAYING. Christ DAMNED save their souls oh Lord. Give them forgiveness oh Lord....Praise thee

yeetios

GIVE ME HEAD, OH LORD. Answer my name in the sweetest of sounds oh Lord...I STAY on my hands and knees for you oh Lord.....Oh Lord....Give these two young gentlemen forgiveness oh Lord....Let them be gay!

John Doe

The video says it doesn’t exist, anyone else?

Anonymous

What happened to the video?

Phil Gillis

Delete the patreon Chad, don't be a pussy.

Anonymous

we just need to be fuckin patient, the guy has to edit a hell ton of footage.

Anonymous

We will be back out soon boys, Daddy Dan won’t hold us much longer. Just wish more people would get vaxxed

Anonymous

anyone elses vimeo just keep randomly buffering? i keep having to refresh the page. I wanna see my bois!

Anonymous

Where were the sex toys lol

Anonymous

3/4 of the Vimeo content can be found easily if you know where to look. They are just too fucking lazy to move to something else (and I mean they should, the patreon has never made this much money even though it hasn't been uncut for 1+ year...

Anonymous

3:25 cost more to get tiddies removed than added rip

Anonymous

Vid broke

Anonymous

Actually would drop my panties just to hang out with them for 10 minutes

Anonymous

Why not just cut the video into parts?

Anonymous

vid broke?

Anonymous

Ayo the vid broke

Anonymous

Broken?

Anonymous

when can we see max's cock

Anonymous

Video broken

Az

you're just retarded, use the browser

Whatshisname

add what they're fucking watching cunt

Cody Belanger

Fuck Patreon just upload them to only fans

Ashtyn

Idk about boob add but it cost me exactly 6017.50$ Canadian to get boob reduced

Az

Ayy where the vid gone

Sage

This sucks. There's no capture of the laptop screen, and it's all from 1 angle Literally things happen out of frame and the editing doesn't change to the 2nd camera.

Anonymous

i always land on my vimeo feed and dont get a video