Review: FX's "The Americans" (Patreon)

Today, let's explore how The Americans defines "cheating" within consensual non-monogamy.

Spoilers ahead for seasons 1 & 2.

First a quick recap of the show: It's a thriller series about deep-cover Russian spies during the Cold War. Elizabeth (Keri Russell) and Philip (Matthew Rhys) are in a KGB-arranged marriage with kids, and live in American suburbia. They work and live together, raise kids together, and have very much fallen in love.

They also have a lot of consensual sex with other people.

It's usually just part of a mission. They wear disguises to seduce informants, then come home to share how it went. No emotions, just part of the job.

Only, sometimes they do get jealous. But not every time. Why?

The Second Wife

Philip (in disguise as "Clark") seduces the secretary of an FBI Officer. The mission starts as a way to steal FBI secrets, aaaaand leads to a marriage proposal. Elizabeth (in disguise as Clark's sister) shows up to support him while he exchanges vows with a woman who is definitely clueless to all of this. IT'S NUTS, Y'ALL.

The lines really start to blur between "Clark" and Philip. It's hard to tell when he's acting, and when he genuinely feels affection for his new wife, Martha (Alison Wright). Though, maybe it's worse if he does love her, because keeping her in the dark is such a cruel thing to do.

Elizabeth doesn't envy their love, but she does envy their sex life.

Elizabeth: "So Martha says Clark is an 'animal' in bed."
Philip (dressed as Clark): "This is Clark."
E: "No, you look like him, but you're not... being him."
Philip sighs.
E: "Do you do that with her? Is that how you do it?"

Martha mentions he's an "animal" in bed, so Elizabeth wants to experience some of that fire. But, she's also a victim of sexual trauma, and Philip knows that Clark's style would trigger her, which it ultimately does.

So, they can't have the same kind of sex, because their dynamic is just different. Not better or worse, just different. It's such a nuanced and thoughtful way to explore inherent differences in poly romances, as well as the impulse to compare the incomparable.

Poor Martha, though. Seriously. She gets so deceived and mistreated the whole time. He's 100% cheating on her and using her, it's awful.

The Hidden Lover
Elizabeth has a secret, 10 year love affair with one of their agents, Gregory (Derek Luke). He wants her to leave Philip, which isn't an option. So he goes to Philip instead, admits the affair, and tells him to end it.

Gregory: "Do you love her? It's a simple question."
Philip: "... You don't have a family, do you Gregory?"
G: "Do you love her? Do you really love her? Because if you don't, leave her be. And if you do, leave her be."
Philip stares at Gregory with anger, and walks away.

This sets Philip off for the first time, feeling hurt and betrayed by his wife. But when she comes home after a sexual mission with a stranger, it's no big deal. Here, the series demonstrates that cheating is about lying and deception, not necessarily about sex. Since the sex at work isn't hidden from him, those encounters don't bother him. He only gets jealous when a secret affair is revealed.

Sex Work

Work is work. When they come home at the end of the day, they have to ask, "have you had sex with them yet? [The KGB] needs an update." They even have a lot of pleasure in some of these encounters, then go home to have sex with each other. All good.

The line between cheating / not-cheating, in these cases, seems to be whether they're on- or off the clock. (I'm not personally a sex worker, so can't speak to how realistic that is, but sounds reasonable enough!)

So it seems they've honed in on defining "cheating" in polyamory as, 1) Secrets (a point where we agree) and 2) Emotional Connections (where I disagree).

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TLDR: For non-monogamy as a whole, I give The Americans a D-. They hurt a lot of people. But I appreciate the nuanced portrayal of cheating within consensual non-monogamy. Either way, this show is super well-written, masterfully acted, and compelling. If you like spy thrillers and suspenseful dramas, definitely check it out!