DOCTOR WHO VIDEO FILMED! (Patreon)

hey folks! it's taken longer than i wanted, but i finally finished the script for the Doctor Who video and filmed it yesterday! here's a little video i took at the end of that six-hour (!) shoot touring my lighting setup. i shot in a real location this time, and i think the result speaks for itself:

this one's been a real pain in the ass. the initial germ for this script started when only one of the 60th specials was available. first i aimed to release it before the third special was set to release, but that didn't pan out. then i aimed to release it before the christmas special aired, but that didn't pan out either. as a result, the script went through a lot of conceptual revisions before any version of it was truly finished. the hardest part of putting this script together was taking all these philosophically separate segments and smashing them together, cutting pieces and moving them around to find the most enjoyable flow of ideas. by the time of assembling the final draft, i wasn't even sure this video had a purpose anymore since a lot of the things i was excitedly guessing at have since been basically confirmed. i got to feeling pretty apocalyptic at basically every stage of the process, particularly when i arrived at the true first draft last friday the 19th. my gf helped me a lot in working through the pain points, and by the end of the weekend i'd gone from a gangly 13,700 word ramble to an admirably succinct 10,300 words (and it'll probably be less in the final version once i'm done editing). the DARK script, for reference, was 8,800 words, which i held in my mind as the soft target. i think that's a pretty respectable length for a video essay and not something i'm eager to surpass by much until such a time as my subject matter really deserves it.

obviously the video isn't done yet (i haven't even started on the edit), but already this process has enlightened me. i stuck to this video despite my intermittent maladies as a test of myself. i said i was going to do this video, so i wanted to push through and make it anyway. too often i let my wandering creative attentions keep me from finishing any of my projects, too often i make promises that i don't keep. i wanted to push through my misgivings about the script, and my worries about filming in a Real Location, just to prove that i could. i wanted to give up on this script but i sat down and made myself work on it anyway. i wanted to rethink my shooting plans but i geared up and spent an entire day setting up/shooting/breaking it all down anyway. what i learned first of all was that i've been working for so many years now without proper tools that i'd sort of convinced myself that i was the problem. but now i DO have the proper tools, and it makes all the difference in the world.

i pushed myself hard to get to this point, and i feel good to have done it. whatever the quality of the final video, i'm proud of my ability to get up and do the work regardless of my feelings on the matter-- something i genuinely wasn't sure if i was still capable of. these last four years have drained me in a thousand ways, sapping my confidence and conviction and, worst of all, my work ethic. but these are skills, not inherent traits. the only way to get back on the ball is to climb it, tedious as that may be.

this year i've set some big challenges for myself, and now for the first time i have real confidence that i might be up to meeting them. it feels good. anyway i don't think this video will be ready quite in time for the end of april, but only by a pinch. may 3rd feels ambitious, but that's my soft target. thank you all so much for your support. take care of yourselves